Jet To No Where

Help me find out if I am on a Jet To No where…or just on stand by.

Archive for the month “June, 2009”

Giving Your self Approval

Giving Your self Approval

Along with control and survival, approval is one of the three basic human wants that keep us entrapped as the ego.

It’s astonishing how far people will go for approval. The multi-billion dollar cosmetic industry is just one example. The clothing industry is another. The list goes on and on.

People pattern their behavior based on what they think will get approval. And yes it’s common to subject ourselves to control to get approval.

The amazing thing is that it’s incredibly effective to give ourselves approval. There’s no need to seek it anywhere else.

This is powerful stuff.

It can dissolve guilt and help us forgive ourselves.

Just intersting facts I was sent via a Twitter Follower….

You have to see this! Awesome!!!!


Quote of The Day

There’s something in every atheist, itching to believe, and something in every believer, itching to doubt.

–Mignon McLaughlin

And the nominees are……

I would love to say that I have been slacking on blogging due to my chaotic life and busy schedule, but that just is not the case. Truthfully, I have not had any feeling or subject matter that I have felt strongly enough to write about. Yes, this is a sounding board for life’s problems that I have numerous questions to, but right now, I am questioning one thing.


I was raised Roman Catholic, Catholic school for 10 years, church every Sunday until I was a teenager, all the sacraments and ceremonies…the whole schebang. I have questioned why I believe what I was taught for most of my 20’s. I had completely severed any meaningful relationship I may have had with God for almost 10 years. Then I had Jakob. Things changed. I no longer had the luxury of giving up God…I was responsible for the greatest responsibility any person ever gets…a human life. That meant for the rest of my life I would be praying that he was healthy, safe, secure, happy…..any and everything one could ever think of. Is that wrong? I had not had a conversation with “my” God for a long time. Do I just pick up where I left off and say, “Hey, Ummm, I know I was gone for a long time, but I have this person I am raising now andI need to know that he is going to be OK despite anythng I am doing…I need your help, prayers and guidence….so, can we just let bygones be bygones?”

I don’t know if it works that way, but Jake is 8 now and he is healthy, safe, secure, smart, beautiful, kind, empathetic….everything I prayed for and so much more. I just cannot possibly believe that I am the only person (along with Ted, my husband/his father) responsible for all of it. That would be just egotistical. Right?

I stopped writing a few hours ago. Owen went down for a nap and I wanted to just lie down and rest. I was scrolling through all the On Demand movies available. I went back and forth in my head as to which one to rent. So, I picked “Doubt”. Maybe it was a subconscious thing…maybe I just wanted to see if it lived up to the hype….whatever the case…now, in retrospect…it seemed an obvious choice.

It was exactly as if I were back in catholic elementary school again. The nuns apparel may have changed from the setting of the movie until my time in the late 70’s, early 80’s….but it was all the same. The positions of authority the nuns and priests held were to be feared. The old school, drab colors within the walls and lockers…the grey sky and cold Autumn wind…then snow…it was all so very familiar. Mass….exactly as I remembered it to be. I could smell the incense as if it were burning next to me. I have always despised incense to this day. Nuns were scary and priests were to be revered.

Most importantly, it reminded me of why I am questioning my religion right now. It’s the hypocrisy of it all. No matter what you did, back then, you were going to hell. Take the Lord’s name in vain…confess it or you’re going to hell. Missed church…confess it or you’re going to hell. The biggest hypocrisy was to come later in my Catholic school years. The sex issue. No sex before marriage or you’re going to hell. If you did have sex and used birth control….hell.  Sex and getting pregnant and keeping the baby…going to hell and having a bastard child out of wedlock. Sex, getting pregnant, giving the baby up for adoption….hell again. Sex, pregnancy and an abortion…forget it…your were fucked. There was no way to get around any of it.

Sex and teenagers is like peanut butter and jelly…it just goes together…someone is going to try it…and most will like it.

When I was 22 I found out I was pregnant. I was an adult. I took the necessary precautions to prevent pregnancy, but it failed. I was no more fit to raise a child than to keep a house plant alive. I had an abortion. My 1st of 2. I do not regret it, nor do I apologize for it. Yes, I had other options, but what may be right for one woman is not necessarily right for another. It was in the Fall of 1992. At Easter time the following spring, my Catholic guilt got the best of me. I don’t know why…I can’t explain it, but I decided to confess my “sin”. Fortunately, the priest on the other side of the confessional booth said that it was good than I confessed this “grave” sin now, at Paschal Time, as he had the authority to forgive such a sin, otherwise only a Bishop could forgive it. Wow….did I luck out. I was given the standard 10 Our Fathers, 10 Hail Marys and 10 Glory Be’s…you would think I would still be doing the rosary today for such a sin, but no. I didn’t feel any better after that confession…because I didn’t have any guilt to begin with. The Catholic religion had embedded so much “Hell” into me that I had a weak moment of self doubt and thought I had better confess it or I will be in big trouble if I die anytime soon.

Which brings me to the original reason I am questioning so badly right now….I watched Bill Maher’s “Religulous” a few days ago. Hysterical, yes….but also brought up so many valid points as to my beliefs and why I believe them. You have to watch the movie to understand my thinking right now, but now I am at a more serious crossroads.

Is Hollywood now dictating my belief system? Or should I say making me doubt it? What is it about fame and fortune and blockbuster movies that makes one think and over think their lives and beliefs? I could have had the same conversation with anyone of my friends about my questioning the beliefs that had been instilled in me, but not a one of them would have brought up the points that I am seriously pondering. No one I know what have that of it in the way it was presented to me by Hollywood…or more importantly, Mr. Maher. Now, he is famous for his non-conformist ways, questioning organized religion and marriage, but does he alone have a power of suggestion so strongly that I am affected by it? I think so. And I know why.

It not religion or God I am questioning… is organized religion created by men who never ever met Jesus Christ. How do they know what happened? What is all the parables I grew up to believe are a bunch of bullshit? What if Aesop is more accurate than The Old Testament?

I don’t have the answers. Neither did Bill Maher, which is why he made the documentary in the 1st place. All I know is this:

I haven’t prayed to God or Jesus since. I have only prayed with Jakob to my Mother, Aunt Alice, my Grandfather and Great-Grandmother….and anyone else close to me who has passed. I did sneak in a little favor for someone up there to point me in the right direction.

This was all before I watched Doubt.

Now…that’s all I have left….

Quote of The Day

    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteA man who works with his hands is a laborer; a man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman; but a man who works with his hands and his brain and his heart is an artist

Louis Nize

Quote of The Day

“It takes no more time to see the good side of life than to see the bad.”

~~~Jimmy Buffet~~~

Quote of The Day

“I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.”

— T. S. Eliot

“I have always loved the beach. The smell of the salty water, the wind in my face, the gentle roar of the waves all combine to create a sense of peace and calm.”


The Poisonous Bait and Switch

Everyone has arguments. We all cannot agree on everything all the time. When these disagreements turn ugly there is one thing that I will never understand.

Why…when someone has nothing valid or intelligent left to say…do they always bring up issues that have no bearing on the issue at hand?

If you are arguing with someone about, let’s say, a rude comment someone made to you…and it gets heated…why would someone bring up the time when you were in college and they loaned you $300.00 and you never paid them back the whole amount? What is the point? What does that have to do with the fact that a person you thought cared about you said you were being unreasonable or mean?

Throughout every argument I have ever had with anyone, there is a common denominator….the bait and switch. It’s exactly likes sales. They reel you in with something really interesting and them jack it up to a level that doesn’t even come close to the original reason you were interested.

If you have no argument left…stop…retreat…let it go…but don’t bring up shit that has happened in the past, you heard someone say or just plain has nothing to do with the original argument. Everything spirals out of control and ends up in the shitter. People can be extremely vicious when backed into a corner.

Just like snakes…..and then they show their true selves.

Quote of The Day

“Success is not permanent. The same is also true of failure.”

Dell Crossword

    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteI have no regrets in my life. I think that everything happens to you for a reason. The hard times that you go through build character, making you a much stronger person.

 Rita Mero


Devil May Care….

I despise all of the social websites being used as a platform for airing out ones feelings when they don’t have the balls to confront the someone in person or by phone.

Since my last blog, my family drama has increased. It seems a certain someone did not like what I had to say and proceeded to post her attitude all over Facebook.  This act also allows one to drift completely off topic into issues that were not even an issue to begin with. So, if my family member wants to use the web as her platform instead of talking like an adult….I see no reason why she shouldn’t get what she wants. Who am I to deny her that right…..

Her reply in reference to my last post concerning a truly stupid issue:

“I dont owe you knowthing! I just qoited what my brother stated to me that early morning!  Oh and you call  the land lady right back afiter i called you  was mature !  Amy was standing right next to me! Its is all good we took care of it !I am over it! Oh and I am truly glade you had time to check on your niece though ! I am greatful my brother did ! He made time for her while no one other than my mother and eddie and teddie and justins family !Oh and from what I hurd for other sorces you brought  a little of it on your self with the house and not all that you say was true ! I dont care if you dont like were you lived !From what I see it seemds like you never wanted to be there in the first place! Let alone in florida ! From the whole time you lived there you not onece came over just to visit us only when you need something or if it was a birthday or hoilday! So yes I see its all about alex! I dont care ! I am me and we help you guys out when need and only greatfulness was my brother!”

Which was promptly followed up with this:

“Alex I truly hope your happy maybe you will stop bitching so much and finally be happy! That what was truly on my mind begreatful for what you have and not what you dont have!!!!!!!!!! Have a god day! I am done with this topic and drama! ;0) Please kiss the kids for me!”

Spelling and grammar not corrected…that’s exactly what I was supposed to decipher…..and that is a lot of exclamation points. Do you think she wanted to emphasize something?

Men would never dream of doing something like this. They hash it out quickly and it’s over. Women, on the other hand, have the wonderful tendency to drag their bones of contention on for days, weeks, months and use emails, letters, social networking sites and the web as tools for their annoyances. I am just as guilty, just not as angry.

My question is this: Why do we, as women, let tiny words on a web page get to us so badly? They are just typed words, right? Or is it that we don’t like everyone else we know on that social networking site to know our dirty laundry? Why does one simple sentence require a litany of words just spitting back at you to make a point? It all seems awfully desperate and angry, yet not enough to have a real conversation.

I, myself, could care less who knows what about me, as long as it’s the whole story and the complete truth. Others just like to throw out whatever they have just to try and hit a nerve. Whatever the reasoning one has for not sucking it up, acting like an adult and picking up the phone instead of hiding behind a computer…I’ll never know.

I haven’t had much inspiration lately for writing, but I have also been moving and under a lot of stress….or maybe I just needed a little aggravation?

I am right here, Angie, when you want to apologize for all of the lies and nasty things you have posted about me. You had the floor and now you need to act like an adult.

But, like you said, “I dont owe you knowthing!”.

Quote of The Day

“Saint abroad, and a devil at home”
Author: John Bunyan

To all hypocrites…

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