Has anyone every seen the movie “Blast from the Past”? Brendan Fraser and Alicia Silverstone?…..it’s a cute movie about a 30 year old guy that lives in a bomb shelter since birth and eventually comes up for supplies for his family. Long story short…he falls in love with the girl and she meets the parents. The guy (“Adam”, Brendon Frasier) had this line in the movie that I always remembered. It was something like this…”The parents take care of the children, then in turn, the children take care of the parents…that’s just how it’s done”. Something to that effect….but it’s true. That IS how it should be. Anyone who was raised properly with love and everything they ever needed or wanted should, in turn, take care of the people who may have given up so much to do that for them. The sacrifices that parents make are not measurable. Yes, we choose to become parents, but the act of giving up so much so that another human being you are responsible for can eventually live out their dreams is nothing short of miraculous.
That is what my grandmother and grandfather did for my father and uncle. They would have never become a pilot and lawyer without the help of their parents, my grandparents. When my parents divorced and we lived with my father, my grandmother stepped right in. He would never be where he is today without the sacrifices she made for my sisters and I. Who wants to become a parent again at the age of sixty? My grandfather was long gone…since 1979, the year my youngest sister was born and Gram gave up whatever she may have had planned in the future in order to take care of us.
In my last blog concerning this touchy subject, I stated that my father and uncle said Gram would never, ever go in a “home”. They did lie. My sister and I both offered to help take care of Gram after she fell. After all, she did raise us, I promised her I would always be there to take care of her and we wanted to. All the reassurances that she is well taken care of and how no one would be able to care for her like she is being cared for now and how my father always picks her up every weekend and they have dinner at his house with her…..that she is doing great….likes it at “the home”….I hear it every time (and it’s not that often I speak to my father any more) he calls or I call him. I have never spoke to my uncle about it. Quite frankly, he is not very personable and probably doesn’t want to talk to me either. My father can talk all he wants about how better off Gram is at her new “home”. The bottom line is this:
He isn’t trying to convince me, my sisters, my grandmother, his friends….no one….he is trying to convince himself. He, my uncle and their wives were not willing to give up their lifestyles to accommodate the woman who was responsible for those lavish lifestyles. She molded them into the successes they are today and this is how they repay her. I don’t care if my father never speaks to me for the rest of my life….I will still take care of him if he needs to be later in his life. I would never do that to someone who had sacrificed so much for me.
Just like no one, except Gram, can forgive me for the credit card fiasco….I will never forgive my father and uncle for what they have done to their own mother. It’s disgraceful.
Sometimes we have to give up our dreams to do what is right.
And Karma’s a bitch….
TO BE CONTINUED…..